I think part of the reason I haven’t been posting much is that I have been having a hard time with riding over the past few months. Nothing is really wrong, per se, but I just haven’t been enjoying myself much. I board at a barn with a nice indoor arena and I just didn’t use it much. I maybe rode 1x/week over the winter. Not so good when you are paying a lot of money for board.
I also don’t feel like I am making a lot of progress with my riding skills. I’ve been riding again as an adult for about 3 years now. I feel like I am sort of stuck at the advanced beginner/ low intermediate stage. I had really hoped to be making more progress by now as my goals were to go to a few schooling shows by this summer. That just won’t happen – Rusty isn’t really properly trained to go to a show anymore and I just don’t have the skills. I had been sort of focusing on this goal and I was really beating myself up about not achieving it. (Now, I know that to improve at anything, you need to get out there and do it more. Getting out and riding 4x/week would probably get me some improvement, I’m sure.)
After a really bad ride a couple of weeks ago, I sort of broke down and contemplated trying to sell Rusty and maybe taking a break from riding. I quickly realized that not riding wasn’t really an option for me. I do enjoy it too much to just give up that easily.
There a few issues on my mind:
- Rusty isn’t a great fit for me physically – my short legs and his large barrel look mismatched and it is hard for me to use my leg properly
- Since I’ve backed off the goal to show, I’ve realized that although I like riding in the arena, I would really love to get out and trail ride and just enjoy being on horseback instead of worrying about the finer details all the time
- There is nowhere to really ride out at my current barn. There are some hayfields, but they are under snow and water 11 months of the year. The one month they are ride-able is often extremely buggy.
- I can ride on the road by the barn, but it is extremely busy with morons that drive too fast
- No one at my current barn really wants to ride out in the fields/road, so I am alone 99% of the time.
- While I really like the care Rusty is getting at my barn, there are a lot of rules. And I mean A LOT. I typically like rules and have no problems following them. Right now, I can’t bring anyone to the barn but the hubby (without a big approval process) and I can’t let anyone even sit on Rusty. (I’m sure this is due in part to insurance issues)
So, with all of those little issues swirling around in my mind for the past 2 weeks, I’ve been thinking of some options (in no particular order):
- Try and sell Rusty or find him a good home. I had hoped to keep him and retire him, but maybe that isn’t the best option. Not sure on this one…
- Move barns – find a place with more hacking/trail riding and cheaper board. That way I would probably keep Rusty and just have fun with him on the trails
- Find a barn with cheaper board ( but with good care, of course) and ride Rusty on some trails, while looking for a new, smaller horse (under 15hh) that might suit me a bit better. (I could probably afford two horses at a different farm. I’ve looked up a couple of places where outdoor board is almost half of what I pay now)
- Stay where I am and just deal with it and try and ride in the ring a few times per week
I hope all of this doesn’t sound too whiney. I know I am lucky to have a horse in the first place and I do appreciate that. There are also lots of people whose horses are sick or injured or they can’t ride anymore for all kinds of reasons. These are just the issues I’m going through right now and thought I would share them here.
So – what do you guys think of all this? I could really use some opinions here. I feel a bit stuck and I’m not sure of the best plan of action right now. I’m not in any rush to make any decisions, but I do want to keep trying to move forward and resolve a few things.
14 comments:
The truth is, if you don't really enjoy riding where you are or have changed your mind about the direction you want to go, then forcing yourself to ride more isn't really going to make you happy. It becomes a chore and will burn all the enjoyment out of owning a horse.
I suggest looking for a cheaper or more trail friendly barn, move Rusty there and get to doing something that you enjoy.
I don't know what the horse market is like in your area, but if Rusty is good on the trails, he may be hard to replace. I'd keep him, use him and look for another horse that may be more suitable in size with all same dependability as Rusty.
Then, if you find that and want to see if you can find Rusty a more suitable home, start trying to sell him. At least this way, you won't be horse-less while looking for Rusty's replacement. Of course, hubby may take a shine to trail riding and having a dependable horse like Rusty may be just the ticket.;)
I understand barn rules, same as you do. Things may be different in Canada than the U.S., but here, a signed waiver of liability covers the barn owner if you bring someone to ride with you. A specific one absolves the BO and puts the burden of liability onto you as the horse's owner.
People often get so wrapped up in the 'responsibility' of horse ownership that they forget that they are supposed to ENJOY the benefits of having a horse.
Agree that forcing yourself to ride isn't going to make you enjoy it more. You need to have fun with your horse. I would definitely be looking for another stable where you can explore different options & most of all, have fun!
I ride at home a lot. We have some good roads & limited traffic. But I enjoy riding with others more. The social aspect of horses. So I haul out a lot. We have a weekday riding group that meets at a pre-designated trail every Wednesday night during ride months. Its a good way to meet others from the area and just get out and ride. I also belong to a list serv of local riders. Another way to get to know riders in your area. If you don't have a trailer, networking helps.
I would try Rusty out on the trails and see if you and he aren't a better fit in that criteria. If you aren't riding one regularly, I would caution about keeping two. We have one horse for everyone in our family, but I am the only one who rides with any consistency & having to put time on THEIR horses when I would rather ride MINE is a chore! :)
You've listed some good points to ponder. Good luck in your decision.
I agree whole heartedly with BrownEyed Cowgirls.
With the exception that if you really want to get back into some showing you'll need to start making some changes to get there, maybe finding Rusty a different home and you a different horse. IF your heart is not set on showing, like she said try out some different stuff and a different barn. So you must first answer the question of what do you want to do with your horses in the future?
Figure out what you'd get real pleasure out of doing - it sounds like it might be pleasure trail riding - and figure out if you need a different barn and/or horse to do it. But that's probably too simple - I expect you'll know what to do. And don't worry about how you look on your horse and whether you match each other size-wise - if you're not showing that doesn't matter much if you like the horse. Good luck, but don't force yourself to do stuff that doesn't make you happy.
I also agree with BEC. I think you should move Rusty to a different barn, where there are trails. Maybe Rusty will be your dream trail horse!
I did the whole showing thing in my youth, got out of horses, got back into horses, and I have realized that I love to trail ride. I don't think I will ever show again.
I also think that if you should keep Rusty after you get another horse, that would be pretty cool, but like Tammy said, if you don't have time to ride both, one just sits.
We bought Fritzy for my OH, and he only rides her on the trails maybe 10 times a year (he refuses to ride in the arena). But that leaves me having to fit Fritzy into my riding schedule, and most times I just don't have the time. I feel bad, but he will never part with his Paint.
Good luck in what you decide to do!
I also second BECG... You owe it to yourself to look forward to and enjoy your horse time. First step sounds like making a move. You cant look back at your past plans and think of this as a failure... you just cant know how much you'll enjoy something until you've tried it! How were you to know this set up wasnt going to work for you!?
If Rusty doesnt fit your needs at the new place then maybe look at moving on to a new horse. There is nothing to feel guilty about so long as you are willing to take the time and wait for the right match! As much as we love our horses they are not usually as attached to us... they're pretty happy so long as they get treated well:) If you find the right home it wont be nearly as hard as you might think.
As a short legged rider I know JUST what you are talking about! Abby is small and not too wide and I just love the way I can get my legs around her... it feels so much better than bumping their sides:) I also am guilty of feeling like I constantly need to be doing things "right" and becoming a better rider but who said you have to be good? No one! Have fun and look after your horse's needs! That's it! That's all we have to do!
Let go of the expectations we horsewomen place on ourselves! Good luck
Sounds like a change of scenery would be very uplifting. A change from arena riding to trail riding. Arena riding can become very dull for both horse & human if that's all there is to do. I hope you can find a good barn, with access to good trails and great people to ride with. Look for a barn with a good group of adult riders. I think riding should be fun, but part of the fun is in riding & socializing with other horse-minded folk.
I don't like arena riding my own horse so much. To me, it's a bit boring, going in circles, working on his headset....the only thing I need to work on myself is loping. So, I am enjoying my saddle seat lessons because it is TOTALLY different for me. It's making me a better rider. I do love to trail ride my horse though!
I think the key is to not make any rushed decisions about selling Rusty. I would start with moving to a place where you can trail ride, and hopefully find a few new barn buddies who also enjoy and that you can ride with. That might change your whole perspective. Should that not help, then perhaps explore getting a horse you can both trail ride and show. I could do both with my boy, well, now he's not 100% sound so not sure how he's look jogging in the show ring, but I could certainly do schooling shows! ;)
Happy Easter!
BEC pretty much said it!
If you really can afford two horses at a different place go for it.
And speaking of a different place, well it seems like you almost feel like you SHOULD like the place you're at but feel a bit guilty for not being so happy there. Sure an indoor arena in our Canadian winters is a blessing but if trails and a more friendly atmosphere are what you really want then move! :)
There is nothing wrong with wanting to switch to trail riding.
Sounds like what you originally had in mind isn't working for you now. I agree with the advice to find a barn with trails and other people to ride with. If THAT still isn't cutting it for you, BREATHE and don't do anything drastic until your mind is calm about whatever you decide.
No pressure! Life's too full of that from other sources. We don;t need to place any more on ourselves.
It seems that Rusty is a very good horse and whether you fit him perfectly should not really be an issue. I had a 17'2 hand dutch warmblood who I rode for 15 years and I'm 5'5". So yes my legs were too short for his barrel etc. but we managed for a long time.
It seems to me that even though he gets good care where he is you might be happier someplace else. Check around your area and stop in at a few barns unexpectedly and see how things are run. You may find a place where riders like the trails and there may even be some groups who ride in your area that you haven't found yet. It's always good to ask around at different barns and see what they do there or if they know of trail riding groups you could join. The main thing is to enjoy yourself and for you and Rusty to just have fun for now until you figure out which way you're going. Also, there's nothing wrong with having goals for showing and trail riding, there's no reason you can't do both.
My best advice is to surround yourself with like minded horse people. Find people willing to hit the trails and explore. Find a barn where someone will inspire you to want to be a better horse person. See how you feel after doing those things and then gauge if Rusty is your perfect partner.
I also agree with BECG. Move and give that a try for a bit to see if the real problem was your surroundings or if it is that Rusty isn't a good fit anymore. There's no harm in admitting either or both is possible. But, from experience, I do have to say that your surroundings will influence how you feel about your pony. If you're unhappy at your barn, you'll be unhappy with your pony too. And, it's ok to change direction. The important thing is that YOU're happy.
Only you know what is right for you. I had many people tell me not to sell Baby Doll or to at least keep riding her....but it wasn't fun and I was too scared...and she was too tall.
And I could only ride her safely in an arena or round pen....and I hate being in there. It's boring.
So, do what makes you happy, feel safe, and feel comfortable. Like others have said, riding should be fun...and you already said that you can't say goodbye to riding, so just listen to your heart and instincts. You'll then be able to make the right decision for you. :)
~Lisa
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