This trainer does a lot of round pen work, which I’m guessing is similar to some of the big name trainers and their “longeing for respect” type stuff. Our first session was interesting – I learned a lot. It turns out that I was letting Dolly move me around without me even realizing it. I would move out of her way if she was goofing around in the round pen and I would also let her push me with her head and body. We did some leading exercises and after an hour, I felt like I had a good grip on that part of things. I’ve made a lot of progress on that front and I feel good about “getting it”…
The other thing this trainer noted was that I didn’t have a lot of confidence and that I needed to be really confident and dominant for Dolly to trust me. That statement is the essence of our problem and while it sounds simple, it is much harder in practice for me. I don’t think it is really possible to turn an emotion or feeling “on or off” just like that. It’s like telling someone that is sad to just “be happy”. If it was that simple, everyone would be happy and confident and there wouldn’t be any problems! (I’m oversimplifying, but you get the idea…)
After a few weeks, I felt like I was making progress in the round pen, but it just wasn’t transferring to our time under saddle. Dolly’s evasive 180 spins become more and more frequent and at different spots around the farm instead of just the sticky spot on the laneway. Some times I could get her through it, others I would have to dismount and move to another location. When this would happen, I would get very angry and annoyed and when the situation persisted, I would start to get a bit nervous that I was going to push her too far. (I don’t ride her with a crop, so I never did anything physical to punish her – it was all just my voice and probably a lot of tension in my body.)
The situation came to a boiling point last weekend. I went out to ride and work with Dolly to see what we could accomplish. I had worked with her on Saturday and we had a decent day, so I decided to push things a bit and try again on Sunday. I decided to skip the round pen stuff, because I didn’t see the need to continue on with it. She was very nervous and even pulled back a bit in the cross ties, which she has never done before. It wasn’t too serious, so once she calmed down, I tacked up and just went to walk around in the riding ring. She was ok for that, so I thought we would try a short hack as a reward. I guess I was carrying a lot of tension and the two of us just couldn’t communicate. I ended the ride because we were both getting very upset and anxious and I felt that if I continued, one or both of us was going to get hurt.
I was very sad and frustrated that my situation had come to this point. I’m no expert rider, but I felt that I was ready for a bit more horse than a 20yr old bombproof one. I seriously doubted myself, my riding future and pretty much everything to do with horses. At that time, I had no idea what was going on, except that most of the problem was with me.
To be continued...
(I'm not trying to be too dramatic here - the story is just too long for one post!)
6 comments:
I think, if we can all be honest, that most horse people go through the same or similar situations, feelings and experiences.
Your Dolly reminds me a lot of my own Dolly (Baby Doll). She excelled at Ground work and round pen work. She would always join up with me and did everything I asked. But it never did seem to transfer to the saddle for her. She was good at doing those 180 degree spins like your Dolly. She also would run backwards, jig, walk like a drunk sailor, and crow hop like a rabbit...all because she was barn sour and disliked trail riding. In the arena and round pen, she was well behaved and reliable, but once I got her out on the trail, she was a totally different horse. But I want to trail ride, not spend all my time in the arena or round pen, and she required someone with a lot of confidence and authority to ride out on trails. Our desires and personalities were not compatible.
I bet you are missing being able to just head out for a relaxing, drama-free hack about now. Perhaps you could go visit Rusty and enjoy a nice ride on him just to bring back the joy of riding again for you. Dolly sounds like a lot of work, but perhaps she'll be worth it in the end?
Looking forward to reading what happens next.
~Lisa
Oh kiddo...You are experiencing a very common phenomena. Very, VERY seldom does all the round-penning and things they have people do on the ground (at liberty) transfer over to riding. There is just nothing there that benefits the horse and rider's communication once you are on their back.
I'm sorry! I think it has it's place and a person can learn things. When done properly, it teaches a horse to pay attention to you and respect your space...
But as you grasped...once you have learned what you need to do to get a horse to round-pen properly and the horse learns the correct responses...it's of very little value to keep doing it.
I'll be anxious to see the rest of what you have to say...but please don't let this little set-back get you down. You were ready for a more active horse than Rusty and maybe Dolly feels like a bit much right now...but mostly I think you need someone who can and will show you how to work with your horse when you are RIDING her.
You're right when you say no one can tell you or make you feel more confident. That comes from within when you're ready.
I think you are getting down on yourself because you want to be perfect with Dolly and are expecting too much from the both of you. It's been my experience that it takes as long as it takes to form a bond and relationship with a horse and the horse with you. Taking small steps and setting small goals that you both can be happy with might be the way to go for a while. Every small achievement is another step up the ladder to where you want to be. Good luck.
Well, it appears my comment theives are back because I just realized the one I left on your last post didn't go through. Sorry about that!
It's so true about not being able to be confident just like that...but you can fake it, at least a little. Fake it til ya make it! Once it works a couple times you will have a reason to actually BE more confident. Just a thought.
I've never done any roundpen work and although I think it would be interesting to do some, I always suspected what you and Browneyed Cowgirl are saying.
I don't want to say too much until part 3 (or 4 or...) cause I've had a bit of a heads up ;)
Oh, and,
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Ok, I'm done :)
RB - love the "Chuck-isms"!!! lol
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