You guys are all to familiar with my dilemma with Dolly. She is a nice little mare - pretty, mostly easy to deal with on the ground, good size for me, good age, etc. etc., but I have been having confidence issues with her on the trail. That is pretty much the status quo for her and I.
2 weeks ago I went on trail ride with some other people from the barn. There were 9 horse/rider combos in total. I rode a pretty buckskin paint mare and a teenage girl rode Dolly. Dolly was wound up and acting a bit loony for the first 30 minutes of the ride and then slowly started to settle down. She had worked herself into a lather, doing all kinds of fancy dressage moves back and forth down the trail. Her rider just sat it out and didn't mind her antics at all. I was nervous just watching! lol After that ride, I was determined to sell her, as I knew I didn't have the seat or the nerves to sit out 30 minutes of antics when riding in a group.
Last week I finally had one response to her sale ad and the people found her on a recommendation from a local endurance rider. The guy came out to have a look at Dolly, who would maybe be his wife's horse to ride in local rides. I was very up front about why I was selling the horse and he wasn't concerned.
He rode Dolly for about 45 minutes and he actually really liked her. She is super senstive in the bridle, which is a good thing, he thought. He started working on flexing and bending as he felt that she was very stiff and unbalanced (which RuckusButt thought as well when she visited). I got on for a few minutes after he rode and could feel a bit of a difference in her mental state - if that makes any sense.
Coach Dan come out again on Sunday and we worked with Dolly for almost two hours (not all in the saddle). In that time, he had her doing a quiet western jog with her head all down and relaxed! I couldn't quite believe it, since she normally gets all excited at the trot - even in the ring - and has her head up in the air...
I got on for 15-20 minutes and we worked on some exercises at the walk so I could get a feel for how he was doing things. It felt like I was riding a totally different horse! I didn't try the trot or jog yet, since that will probably take some time for me to get...but I felt that maybe with some coaching we had a good chance to get over our issues.
And then, Sunday night, I got a call from the potential buyer and he wanted to come back with his wife this time! (Kudos to any readers that made it down this far to discover the actual "pickle" from the title! lol) I actually wavered a bit on whether or not to tell them that she is no longer for sale. I think we made some good progress in two sessions and could do a lot more over the summer, with regular coaching. On the other hand, I could still sell her and start fresh with another horse (which I have yet to find...).
Now, there is no guarantee that these people will buy her, but they are interested. I slept on the problem and when I woke up this morning, I still didn't have a clear idea of what to do. So, I called the potential buyer and told him that my price was firm and I wasn't negotiating and if he was still interested, he could come out and try her again. If they love her and are willing to pay my asking price, I'll probably let her go and chalk it up to experience and learning...maybe she will be "the one that got away" or something...
I never thought I would be in a spot with Dolly where I wouldn't want to sell her if the opportunity came up... Up until yesterday, I was ready to trade her or sell her to the first interested party! So, we'll see how things go tonight and maybe I'll have to make a tough decision...
5 comments:
Ultimately, we all have to look at the synergy between us and the horse. If something isn't working, we need someone like your trainer to show us that the horse can be everything you want it to be. Then we have figure out what to change in ourselves to get that same kind of behavior from the horse when we ride it. For those of us who are nervous riders, it seems easier to find a horse that can ignore our nerves than it is to teach ourselves to relax. Yet in truth, there really isn't anything easy about horse shopping either. Yes, you're in a pickle.
You seem to have two ways to go:
Sell Dolly and find another horse that may or may not be exactly what you need or want and maybe down the road have to turn around and sell another one that doesn't work out.
Or work with this coach and Dolly and get her going the way you feel safe with her. It seems that if you saw and felt how well Dolly can go with proper training for both you and her you should maybe keep her. You'd be ahead of the game because you already know all her faults and issues. I think it sounds like you and Dolly need weekly lessons with this coach and then you can practice them during the week. It takes a long time to train a horse and a long time for us to learn what a horse needs to go correctly and be a solid citizen. Good luck with whatever you decide.
I can honestly say that the entire time Baby Doll's buyers were trying her out, having her PPVE done, and even as they were loading her up into their trailer and handing me a check......even down to that very last moment...I didn't want to let her go. I wanted to keep her. I wanted it to work out that she would remain my horse forever. It hurt so bad! I cried as they drove away and I cried on the way home, and I still get that empty sad feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I think of Baby Doll.
But I had to admit that she was not meant to be my forever horse and that we were not a perfect match. And I had to let her go.
Not saying this is the same for you, but in your decision, don't just listen to your heart, but also listen to your brain and gut instinct. And then you will know what is the right decision for you.
~Lisa
Tough, tough spot to be in.
Sounds like this trainer would be a very good person to keep around even if you decided to sell Dolly and find another horse.
I will say this one thing...One thing you really need to think on is the amount of work it would take to bring your confidence level up to match Dolly's energy level. Even with proper training, it sounds like she is always going to be a high-energy level horse that will be prone to 'spazz' moments for quite a while...maybe years.
Now ME...I love high-energy horses and really enjoy the challenge of channeling those spazz-outs into conducive energy...
Not everyone looks forward to having to deal with that on a regular basis though. For the majority of people, it really take the fun out of riding and or learning new things.
So basically, you have to ask yourself; If given the tools to learn how to work with Dolly...do you think you would enjoy having to work through issues for an extended period of time? Or do you think you would rather have a horse that isn't going to test you as much?
It's encouraging to see everyone's comments mirroring our discussions. I think BEC nailed it in her very well written comment! I also suspect you know the answer.
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